Monday, January 16, 2012

Lesson Six: Bigfoot versus

Photo courtesy of Todd Standing

I once spent Christmas in Florida. Sounds delightful doesn't it?  It wasn't.  I was holed up in a backwater burgh known as Homestead, a featureless little community with a population as genetically diverse as the Ozarks.

To relieve my ennui I drove through the nearby Everglades, stopping at roadside attractions which boasted of their superior gator wrassling and palmetto bug jam.  I tried neither, but it got me wondering about the Everglade's version of Sasquatch, the skunk ape.  While we all known the skunk ape's diet consists mostly of armadillos and key lime pie, do any of us understand how the beast avoids the snapping jaws of the area's crocodilians?

And furthermore what would happen were Hillbilly Sasquatch to square off against an alligator?  Who would emerge victorious?

No one can know for certain, but the video below might begin to tell the tale.

My pleasure to inform, as always.


AKA "the Naturalist"


  1. I picture a scenario like Godzilla versus Mothra. Who would win? Well, I'd like to think Skunkape could grab a gator's jaws and pry them apart. Personally, I don't believe in Skunkape.

  2. Gojira would certainly handle Mothra one on one, but the tables might be turned if the Devine Moth were accompanied by her Luminous Fairies (also known as "The Mothra Twins.)

    What, no skunk ape? Next thing you're going to tell me is there's no Santa Claus.

    Thanks for dropping by, AF!

  3. Ronnie, have you yet turned your keen attention to reports of a still-extant dinosaur in the Congo, given your family's remarkable history in that benighted corner of the world? On my one trip to Brazzaville during a hiatus between bloody coups and mass genocides, some darkies there spoke in hushed tones of "Mogoeontheagogo", which in my limited knowledge of their tongue I took to mean a colossal aquatic beast of some sort. Later, however, a Hottentot redcap at the Hotel Rwanda corrected the translation to "White fool mistake hippo for sauropod".

    1. Professor Quatermass your story reminds me of the time I mistook Cameroonian political theorist, Achille Mbembe for the Mokele Mbembe. At the thought of my error, I am chagrined to this day.

      On the subject of misidentification, it should be noted that "Yeti" is actually a corruption of the word "meti", a regional dialect term for "bear". Make of that what you will.

  4. Ironically, Naturalist, I used to be Mrs. Clauss. I divorced him.

    1. The thought of you in a red & white fur suit and black boots makes me jolly.

  5. I seen gators tear up a a child's bicycle once.