Lesson Eleven: The Face on Mars: Reality or Rubbish?

Note: I am on distant expedition with inventor Joseph Cavor, so today's entry is courtesy of my esteemed colleague, Prof. Bernard Quatermass. Thanks for the help, Bernie!  RVB

Prof. Bernard Quatermass endeavours to explain to Nancy Grace that the face on Mars is not guilty of any crime .

In 1976, satellite photos taken in the Cydonia region of Mars first revealed what appears to be a human face etched on the surface of the Red Planet, leading to numerous theories on its origin and purpose.

An examination of the relevant literature on the subject shows the current consensus of opinion to be that the most plausible explanation for this phenomenon is an alien construct intended to attract the attention of earthlings, with the least likely being a random geological artifact having no significance whatsoever.

Some leading authorities have even seen a resemblance between the face and known terrestrial figures such as Elvis “The King” Presley and various Jim Henson Muppets, including Grover. While skeptics are wont to reject these parallels as no more scientific than a Mexican peasant seeing the visage of Mother Mary left in the pattern of a burnt tortilla, they can't be entirely dismissed, either. Indeed, why should the face appear human at all if not to invite the attention of our species? Surely if the face were representative of an alien race one would expect multiple eyes, antennae or perhaps tentacles at the very least.

Until such time that manned missions to Mars can verify the true nature of this enigma, we will, as always, subject this or any unexplained phenomenon that comes to our attention with the most rigorous scientific method.

- Prof. Bernard Quatermass