Thursday, January 12, 2012

Lesson Two: Non-carbon based unit

The Mono Lake Beast

As many of you don't know 2010 was the year we made contact, not in the fictional work of Isaac Asimov, but in truth, i.e. real world.

Right here on Earth, in the boiling muck of a sludge-filled crater, humans came in contact with an alien life form. This historic event was briefly reported on by the media but then quickly ushered aside for breaking news on the release of Kim Cardassian's line of fragrance and the extramarital activity of motorbike designer Billy the Kid.

The specific location of the event was Mono Lake (pronounced /ˈmoʊnoʊ/ moh-noh,) in the great state of California. The lake, better known for its brine shrimp and biting flies than extraterrestrial life forms, was once visited by Marc Twain who wrote, "lifeless, treeless, hideous desert... the loneliest place on earth." and "The coldest winter I ever spent was a Summer at Mono Lake."

Mono Lake is infamous for being the viral home of the "Kissing disease" AKA infectious mononucleosis.  It is this deadly scourge that claimed the life of the famed American author and humorist often incorrectly referred to as, "Samuel Clemens,"

What if Marc Twain had lived to witness the emergence of the Mono Lake Beast? What would he quip then? Had there not been a media/government cover up what would we know today about this non-carbon based cryptid? Is it enormous enough to swallow a city? Does it exhale concentrated streams of radioactive mist? Does its mouth sport a second inner Pharyngeal set of jaws? Does its exoskeleton boast stealth armor and the ability to take on the visage of its captors?  

Alas, much like the fundamentals of electricity, these are things we'll never know.

As always, it is my honor to have educated you. 



AKA "The Naturalist"


  1. I love when you talk dirty (EBV). I never understood the desire to fly to space and look at flying rocks called The Moon and Mars. We have so freaking much to learn right here. We are so naive about it all.

  2. Agreed, my dear. But I fear that whenever science discovers something noteworthy the news will be interrupted by the Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Special Part II (Director's Cut)

  3. is this a real story?