|The Von Beringe equation|
I will never forget the day when I was a child and my grandfather, the esteemed Naturalist Robert Von Beringe, took me by the hand and asked, "What the Hell are you doin' in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"
As many of you don't know, Robert Von Beringe was the first human on planet Earth to lay eyes on what we now call, "The gorilla." At the time he insensitively referred to them as "Mbielu-mbielu-mbielu", translated into the Queen's English as: "black man of the forest who won't listen." He was also the first human on planet Earth to shoot and kill a gorilla then take a picture of himself standing on it as if he were posing for the label of Captain Morgan's rum.
He was an intelligent, gentle man but prone to outbursts of ignorance and cruelty. "Rash" some called him; some also said a rash was the reason for his outbursts - grandpa was known for his dalliances with prostitutes while bivouacking in Swaziland.
Before you judge Robert Von Beringe too harshly consider this: without him we would not know of the gorilla, for who else would have identified the most famous of the great apes? Or as grandpa once noted, "The indigenous peoples of Africa certainly weren't going to discover them."
Thank you for enjoying this lesson.
AKA "The Naturalist"